Dealing with emotional pain: How to let go of emotional pain?

This is Part 3 of a three-part series.

“The key to being happy is knowing you have the power to choose what to accept and what to let go.”

Though we may have the intention and will to let go of emotional pain and move forward, doing so may be difficult. Just like healing from a physical injury takes time and goes through a process, emotional healing goes through a defined process that is different for different people.

An emotional crisis could be the much-needed stimulus to break old patterns and trigger change. Time or people cannot heal you unless you’re willing to heal. Allowing yourself to heal is an obligation to yourself. One of the best ways to heal is to learn positive lessons from the situation, look within and work on building a better and stronger version of yourself. 

If you are willing to heal, here are 8 ways to help you move forward:

  1. Move away: Distance yourself from the person or situation that causes the pain so that you can objectively see how it impacts you and if you are willing to be in the situation in times to come. After you have truly “moved on” the distance will not matter.
  2. Here and now: When the mind drifts to the past make a conscious effort to live in the present, without giving too much importance to the past or worrying about the future.
  3. Learn to forgive: Trust the magical power of forgiveness to heal the hurt and pain. Withholding forgiveness keeps alive emotions of hurt, anger, and blame which alter your perception of life. Many a time we wait for a person to seek our forgiveness, all the while holding on to the pain within ourselves. Understand, it may never happen. Forgiveness sets you free so that you can move forward in your own life, without allowing the past to hold you hostage. Hence, you will need to work on it yourself, for your own sake.
  4. Be kind to yourself: Instead of holding yourself responsible, engaging in self-pity, and feeling victimized, treat yourself with kindness and empathy. Make a list of your achievements, even the smallest ones, and add to it daily. Unleash the power within.
  5. Engage in self-care: You need to bury the past and the pain, not yourself! The more we implement self-care into our daily lives, the more empowered we become. Spend time with yourself. Visit the spa, go for a vacation, get a tattoo, wear bright red lipstick, enroll in a gym. How you look is how you feel. Period.
  6. Welcome the new: When you let go of a painful experience and a hurtful past, a new day starts. Welcome the change, embrace the new chapter will all your might. Do not be overwhelmed by the change. It is a natural progression.
  7. Don’t be fearful: The brain is going to trick you to look for similarities or associate the painful experience with new situations in life. Don’t let fear control your mind and choices for you. Let go of fear to be able to fully experience life. Don’t live in chains when you have the key to set yourself free.
  8. Help others: There is no greater joy than helping others who stand at the same place you were once. Share your experience and talk about your journey. Your journey may give strength to someone. You could inspire someone to take charge of life! Don’t miss the opportunity.

Throughout our lives, we reach points where a situation or a person no longer adds value to our life journey. But for some reason, maybe conditioning, we try to salvage what was by spending our last emotional cent on its preservation. Not knowing what is next, and also being afraid to let go, sometimes makes this step hard. There is usually an element of sadness in moving forward, but ultimately you are walking the path of the warrior who has the courage to move ahead into what they deserve and want. You are entering a situation that welcomes you, a situation that serves you breathes life into you, brings you joy, and aligns with your best self.

Part 1: Why do we hold on to emotional pain?

Part 2: Why must we let go of emotional pain?


  1. Just one word- Awesome !!
    The epithet awarded to you couple of months ago as “Behavioral Psychologist” finally got its justice….. so beautifully 🙂


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