Allowing yourself to receive love is a power few have, and fewer understand.
It’s a paradox that the love we need the most scares the wit out of us when it actually comes to us. It’s a fact that most of us are better at loving than accepting being loved. We are wired to be ‘givers’ and not ‘receivers’, because giving is a virtue. For most receiving love is far more challenging than giving love. So many of us feel uncomfortable when we are showered with love and attention, yet that is what we yearn for, and long for.
However, when it happens, we freeze in fear, not knowing how to react or what to say or feel. To camouflage the fear and to send the (false) message that we are strong and don’t really need it, we often do and say things that push people away and subconsciously block the love that can truly transform our lives. So consumed by fear we are that we don’t realise all the ways and words we use to resist the love, appreciation, praise, and compliments, that cause long-lasting damage and cripple our relationships over time. Wonder why we resist love?
The inability to accept love is an extension of our self-rejection, which leads us to believe that we are unworthy of someone’s love. When someone tries to offer love and affection, it triggers self-sabotaging belief that we aren’t good enough to deserve this. This stiff awkwardness to being loved makes it impossible to let in the love we want or need, even when someone does their best to love us. So we dismiss compliments, neglect efforts, antagonize our lovers, cover our vulnerability with fake strength, minimize gestures, and create blocks to true intimacy.
Some people experience an emotional crisis when faced with unconditional love because the way they perceive themselves is different from how the other person sees them. They just fail to reason why anyone would love them when they themselves don’t like who they are! Instead of accepting the emotion (am not even saying reciprocating here) they begin to feel the stress of it.
Learning to receive love is not as difficult as it may seem to be.
- Believe that you are worthy of being loved. Tell it to yourself as many times as it takes, till the shift happens.
- Accept that you want to be loved. Don’t fight the emotion.
- Allow yourself to be vulnerable. Being vulnerable is a powerful thing, not a sign of weakness
- Observe your emotions when receiving love makes you uncomfortable. Stay put through the awkwardness. Don’t run away.
- Fight your fear. When you try to cover your weakness and fear with brave (sometimes rude) words and actions, people see through it.
Not learning to, or stopping yourself from receiving love is the worst kind of self-sabotage you can do to yourself. To be loved, you have to be in a state of readiness to accept being loved, and be comfortable with someone seeing you as special. You need to do some inner work to rid yourself of the self-limiting beliefs and blockages to love, by telling yourself that you’re worthy of being loved, unconditionally and selflessly, truly and genuinely.
Being open to receiving love begins with a choice to receive love and trust the other person’s intentions. Only when you learn the art of receiving love, you can experience its transformational power of it and see your relationships blossom.
Most people aren’t aware of their own negative emotions towards receiving love and end up unknowingly resisting the love they are fully worthy of. Recognizing and breaking old patterns and learning to receive can be liberating and empowering, setting into motion positive shifts that you had been blocking all the while.
Remember, people seldom leave, oft times YOU push them away!