Dealing with emotional pain: Why must we let go of emotional pain?

This is Part 2 of a three-part series.

“Some of us think holding on makes us strong, but sometimes it is letting go.”
Herman Hesse

We hold on to emotional pain because we attach a lot of importance and value to both the pain as well as the cause of it. We must let go of the pain, not for anyone else, but for our own self and sanity, understanding that letting go does not mean forgetting or in any way makes it less important. It just means that you have stopped it from stopping you to move ahead in life.

Here are some reasons why it is absolutely important to let go of emotional pain:

  1. Holding on to pain doesn’t fix anything: Replaying the past and reliving it over and over again will not change it, and wishing things were better is like wishing that you didn’t get wet in the rain when you’re already wet! Accepting the past with grace and wisdom and letting go of the pain, even if it feels almost impossible, is a brave act.
  2. Allow life to happen: Letting go of the pain in no way means ‘erasing’ painful memories or experiences. That is literally impossible because our brains are designed to store memories and ‘look for’ similar experiences that can be associated with the stored data. When we free ourselves from the pain we empower or brain to break the association based on probability. When we free ourselves from the pain, we allow life, a better one, to happen to us. This little change at the brain level goes a long way in creating a powerful new positive version of your life.
  3. Make room for new: Accepting and embracing the truth, however bitter it might be, helps us make peace with the process of transition from one phase of life to another. We become more open and welcoming to new experiences that help us move on. “Moving on” is sometimes too hard of a phrase to tell ourselves with some situations, so I sometimes like to say “moving forward” instead.
  4. Manifest what you deserve: Holding on to pain thwarts the power you have within you to manifest whatever you want and open up many possibilities for you, be it love, career, travel or money. The possibilities are endless. When we free ourselves from the pain, we become drawn towards new goals, visions, and people all of which enrich life in many surprising ways.
  5. Realizing the power of self: You will realize that ‘you’ are really all you need to be happy and whole. When you let go of the pain you will have the ability to find joy in your being. You will feel proud instead of feeling sorry for yourself. You will be able to appreciate and laud yourself for every success you have achieved. You will be kinder to yourself. You will not look for happiness in places outside you. Your response to situations will change and you will have more power to navigate through the maze of life-experiences with better responses.
  6. The power of the present: Letting go is about accepting the past, embracing the present and not worrying to death about what will happen in the future. We can’t go back in time and fix the past, no that’s not happening. What is yet to happen in the future is beyond our control. Letting go helps us see that the present is all we have. The onus is on us to make our present meaningful and our future worth living for.

Part 1: Why do we hold on to emotional pain?

Part 3: How to let go of emotional pain?


  1. “Letting go is about accepting the past, embracing the present”…. this is what the essence is.
    Your explanation is so easy to make out that it’s hard to explain. 🙂


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